Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize