wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
