Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
