so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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