it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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