Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
