Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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