Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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