I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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