Buhtt sex?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
