i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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