it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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