I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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