he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Randomize
