You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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