I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
