I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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