Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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