I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
