I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
