I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
