I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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