We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We are two peas in an std pod
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
