How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
porn star boner night. come get it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
