with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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