some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
