Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
