If that was your dad, he is hot
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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