He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
