just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
