Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
