I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
