we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
