i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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