it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize