Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
