doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
