I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
