you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
is it fun? or sober?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
