fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
