I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
