Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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