Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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