She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
