I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
