youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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