new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
