I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize