Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
