I wish life had little blips of pornography
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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