Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
