I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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