You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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