plz talk dirty to me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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