Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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