How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
