Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
