is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
